Bringing God into Decisions (Part 1)

For the young adults in our GAP (Grow and Prepare) Program, the staff offer talks to learn different life skills. I give a talk each semester called “Discernment 101.” Here it is below.

The Hook

I begin my talk with an opening activity to get the audience involved and teach about trust in God. I get a brave volunteer and put out a chair in front of the audience. I ask the volunteer to sit down in the chair. Then for part 2, a bit harder this time, I ask them to close their eyes before sitting in the chair. For part 3 I move the chair to a new location. With their eyes still closed, I then direct them with different directions (take two steps right, turn around, two steps left) and finally I tell them to sit, trusting I’ve guided them to a chair.

This example demonstrates how God leads us to trust Him more and more every day of our lives. Just sitting in the chair is easy for them, but I remind them that they did put a lot of trust in that inanimate object that it would not break. With their eyes closed, it becomes a little bit harder, and they may be a little more hesitant as they have to trust themself to sit without their visual senses anymore. Lastly, the volunteer usually is much more hesitant to sit the third time as they nervously are trusting that I have led them well with my directions. Some place their hand behind them to feel for the chair. This shows how sometimes God leads us on a wild adventure of trust. As we learn to trust Him in the little things, He gives us bigger and bigger opportunities to trust Him, lead us to unexpected places on a wild ride, and trust He has a beautiful plan for our lives. Jesus, I trust in you.

What is Discernment?

Discernment is not just deciding if you should become a priest or nun, although

that’s commonly how Catholics think of it. Discernment is inviting God into your

decisions. A friend of mine told me that the best thing parents can teach their children is good decision making skills; this is discernment. The rest of your life you are going to have choices to make, whether big or small. Learning how to make small decisions helps in the bigger decisions. Learning to trust God in the little stuff, helps in the bigger vocational questions like: Should I be a priest/religious sister? Should I get married? Should I take this job? Should I move to a new state? What major should I study? Should I change careers? Should I date this person?

Word of God as Food

Here are some great Scripture verses on the topic of discernment.

“Your word is a lamp for my feet, a light for my path.” - Psalm 119:105

This is my favorite Scripture on the topic of discernment. First, it emphasizes that

when a decision needs made, you must go to God’s Word in Scripture to direct

you. Second, I love the visual that we have a light at our feet. The challenge of

this is that the Lord often only lights up our feet, not the whole path. He gives us

direction for the next step only and we have to trust him for the step after that and after

that and after that.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your

ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight." -Proverbs 3:5-6

Submission is not easy. I would recommend praying the Surrender novena, not just

for 9 days but for every day of your life. This gives God room in every moment of your

day to move and act. I also am a huge fan of Our Lady, Undoer of Knots. She waits for us to bring her those things or decisions in our life we need help untying. Consecrate yourself to Mary, and she will take care of the rest.

“Paul prays, ‘And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in

knowledge and depth of insight so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be

pure and blameless for the day of Christ.’ “ -Philippians 1:9-10

Discernment is not a new thing. People have had to make big decisions all the

way back to Paul. Don’t get me started on the apple in the garden! Paul invited

the Lord into his decisions and watched as the glory of God shone. AMDG (Ad majorem Dei gloriam) - We pray that all decisions may be for the Greater Glory of God.

“Behold, I am sending you out as sheep in the midst of wolves, so be wise as serpents and

innocent as doves.” - Matthew 10:16

I pray you are both wise and innocent. Be careful. We are in a spiritual arena. The

devil is lurking like a lion looking for someone to devour (1 Peter 5:8). Pray the

rosary and fast, as Mary repeats over and over in her apparitions. St. Michael, the

Archangel, defend us in battle...

Below is my favorite Scripture verse. There are so many good nuggets in Scripture.

“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that

by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and

perfect.” - Romans 12:2

Here it says that “you” discern – not your social media followers or your neighbor or even your parents or your best friend or spouse. Yes, the Lord does speak through people around us, but sometimes we let all the voices and opinions around us in but forget to ask God. We must bring decisions to prayer (adoration, rosary, Mass, etc.) and practice listening to the Holy Spirit. A good spiritual director can help us discern as well.

I knew a young woman who was taking a break from her nursing career to do a GAP semester here. She told me she wondered if she would have ever been a nurse if her parents hadn’t convinced her to. How many things have we done influenced by others’ wants instead of our own? What should I study in college, should I even go to college, what house should I buy, what person should I marry, should I abort this child? Decisions can quickly turn to regret. Stop and ask for the Lord’s mercy, help, and guidance. The Holy Spirit is a whisper away.

Do not conform. I once saw a picture of a bunch of little fish swimming and one was swimming the other direction. That is often us, as Christians, in today's secular world. We must stay true to our morals and values. We have to stand up for what we believe in, even if it's unpopular. If we are striving for Heaven, we shouldn't care what others' think of us. All that matters is God's view of us.

Lord, give us heavenly eyes to see as You do. Help us to not conform but be transformed. To be healed, set free, and to radically change the world in the way You have created us to do, personally. Amen.

Four Questions to Ask in Discernment

Fr. Mike Schmitz has a great video on discernment in which he uses the 4 questions below as a framework for making decisions. We have been given free will to make our own decisions, even when we may like this cup to pass from us, like in the Garden of Gethsemane. In the Our Father, Jesus teaches us to pray “Thy Will Be Done, on earth as it is in Heaven." We pray He may guide us to His will in all things and accept what has been given as the work of His hands.

1. Is this a Good Door?

The first thing to ask when making a decision is if it is morally good. We have been given Scripture (10 commandments, Parables, etc.) and Tradition (Catechism, church documents, etc.) to help us know right from wrong. If we have been told not to do it, it is not morally good. Should I kill? Should I cheat? The answer is no. If it is morally acceptable, then proceed to step 2.

2. Is this an Open Door?

  Unlike the Frozen song, love is not always an open door. Fr. Mike Schmitz talks about if this option you're considering is even a reality. He uses the example of him trying out for the NBA. No, it is not feasible with his height, skills, and talents and so the door is not open. If you applied to a job and were denied, the door is closed. Your girlfriend broke up with you - a closed door. You must find a door that is open.

3. Is this a Wise Door?

Here we have to take time and think, especially for big decisions like considering a lifelong partner. You have to look at your desires, dreams, goals, who you want to be, your strengths, and your weaknesses. “I have to” is not a good answer. Pros and cons lists are helpful. My dad likes to use the line, “What’s God want you to do with that big brain?” God gives us a brain to think through and logically process through things. We also ponder things in our heart like Mary. We listen to our gut instincts and intuition. We listen to the wisdom of trusted people and don't rush the decision-making process.

4. Is this a Door that I Want?

The tricky thing is that sometimes we are given two goods and it is very hard to choose which one we want. St. Max picked both crowns, can’t we? God lets us choose. Marriage or religious life? Careful to not be tempted by the other. Both are beautiful ways of sanctification. It’s like the scene in the notebook where Noah is yelling in the rain at Allie, saying, “WHAT DO YOU WANT?” As women, stopping to figure out what we want is sometimes difficult. Once we figure out what we want, we make the decision.

Fr. Mike emphasizes that once a decision has been made you have to take responsibility for it. God uses each step and will be with us to help us get back on the

right path if we make a "wrong" decision. Ultimately though, look for PEACE since

doing the will of God brings peace.

If you don’t know my story, I was in religious life for a time. I decided that wasn’t for me, left the cloister, and met a nice guy who also had left seminary. That man ended up being my husband. I had a lot of discernment and decisions in my journey. I am going to walk you through some of that. Keep reading to part 2!